Voices

 

Summary: Clark keeps hearing voices.

Many hugs and thank you's to Christine for beta. And to Carrie too, for helping me with the the playground talk.

The boy smiled and leaned into the man’s chest. It was warm and the flannel shirt the man was wearing was soft and smelled nice.

The man ruffled the boy’s hair and continued to talk. "’Someone’s been sleeping in my bed,’ Papa Bear said. ‘Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, too’, Mama Bear said. ‘Someone’s *still* sleeping in my bed,’ Baby Bear exclaimed."

The boy sighed contently. He had no idea what the man was saying, but he didn’t mind. He liked the strong arms that held him, and the way the man’s chest moved under his chin felt almost homelike. And most important, the man’s talking reminded him of the calm voice that had kept him company on his journey for so long.

The boy knew his name was Clark now. That is what the woman called Mommy and the man called Daddy calls him. Everything in this strange new world has names. It was so hard to remember them all. But when he did, Mommy and Daddy smiled. He liked to make them smile, so the boy did his best. But in the back of his mind; there was a familiar voice telling him that the names where wrong. That things should be called differently. But that voice was fading, for every new name he learned.

He’d been put to bed over an hour ago. Mommy and Daddy were funny that way. They always put him to bed at the same time in the evening, whether he was tired or not. It was so different from how it had been before.

A big round night light was glowing red on the wall. It reminded him of something, but he couldn’t remember what. The door was opened and he could hear Mommy and Daddy talking down stairs. He sighed contently and let his parents' voices lull him to sleep.

Pete teaches Clark many new words. Like poopie head and cooties. He tells Clark what to do a lot. But Clark doesn’t mind. He’s glad to have a guide in this strange new world. Kindergarten is so different from the farm. But Pete is a great teacher. Even better than Mrs. Green.

When Clark thanks Pete for teaching him all the things he needs to know, Pete just smiles and says, "That’s what friends are for, Clark."
 
Clark didn’t know that. Pete is the only friend he's got. Because although Pete is an excellent teacher, it didn’t take long for the other children to see that Clark Kent was different. There were words he didn’t know, games he couldn’t, or wouldn’t play, and situations he just doesn’t seem to understand.

Clark likes calm and silent games, not playing ninjas or simply rough housing. The other boys don’t know what to do with him. If they try to invite him to a wrestling match or just push and shove him to get a reaction, Clark just smiles and walks away. "Leave Clark alone," Pete says. "He doesn’t like to fight, but he’s OK anyway."

And after Clark shoves an older bully through a door for hurting Pete, the other boys stop trying to get Clark to react, but they don’t invite him over to play either.

So it’s only Clark and Pete, and sometimes Greg. Greg is also a loner. In some ways even more than Clark, because Clark always has Pete. Greg knows all the words, and all the games, and what to say and do in every situation, but he prefers watching the ant farm Mrs. Green put in the back of the class room or to catch crickets over playing with other kids. Sometimes, Clark thinks that Greg likes bugs better than people.

Mrs. Green worries about Clark sometimes. She’s even talked to Martha Kent about it. Because sometimes Clark just sits there, staring right out into thin air. When she touches his shoulder and asks where he was, Clark just smiles.

She never realizes that he’s listening for something he thinks he should be able to hear but doesn’t. And Clark doesn’t tell anyone. Not Pete, or even Mom. He’s good at keeping secrets.

Whenever Clark is near Lana Lang, he gets weak in his knees and queasy in his stomach. Pete once said those were symptoms of being in love, so Clark assumes that is what he is. Lana Lang is a pretty pink princess. And she smells good too. At least she did the couple of times Clark was actually close enough to smell her.

Lana is always distant. She lives in a different world. Clark wishes he could show her his. He thinks she would be happier there. Because although Lana smiles, she doesn’t seem happy most of the time. There’s sadness in her eyes. Mom once said it’s because Lana lost her parents. When Clark gets older, he’s going to find them for her. He’s good at finding things that are lost.

But Lana hardly even knows that Clark exists. They are neighbours, but could just as easily live in different parts of the world. Lana is always surrounded by a large circle of friends, a circle he can’t breach.

So he watches from afar. Watches and listens. Because sometimes he can hear Lana laugh and then he thinks that maybe she’s happy after all. That makes Clark smile, because he wants Lana to be happy.

Chloe talks different than other kids around here.  She talks so fast and energetic. Like she thinks she’s running out of time soon, and therefore has to do and know everything right now before it is too late. Pete said it’s because she’s from Metropolis. Clark doesn’t know for sure, but he thinks it’s just because she is Chloe. Chloe’s curiosity shines through her eyes and energy radiates through her whole body. If Clark focuses, it’s almost as if he can see it. But he keeps that for himself since he doesn’t want to be called a dork.

Clark is glad she wants to be his friend. He has so few. Although, he’s no longer lost or confused around other kids, they haven’t forgotten. They mostly just ignore him, but he can hear their whispers and snickers behind his back. For them, he’s still the freak. But Clark does what his dad once told him to do, and puts quality before quantity. And he could never get friends better than Pete and Chloe.

He can talk to them about anything. Well, almost anything. Clark is even better at keeping secrets now.

Most teenagers would sigh and roll their eyes at just the thought of hearing about a bunch of old guys. But Clark isn’t like most teenagers. He likes to hear Lex talk.

Lex's voice is comparable to the rest of him. Sharp and precise, but yet enthralling. Like a mix of steel and velvet. But Clark doesn’t want to think to closely, why he likes Lex's voice so much.

Because he is in love with Lana, and she’s finally entering his world. And keeping secrets from Lex is hard enough as it is.

But Clark still smiles as he listens to Lex’s anecdotes about Alexander the Great.

Clark is in his second year of college. His parents are very proud of him. They miss him sometimes, but he visits often. Clark misses Pete and Chloe. Pete’s studying law in Central City and Chloe... Chloe was one of those Clark couldn’t save. He still has nightmares about that. The few nights he’s able to get some sleep at all.

After Chloe’s death, Lana left too.

She still lives in Smallville, and manages the Talon. But she doesn’t live in Clark’s world anymore. The fairy princess is back. With smiles that don’t reach her eyes. She seems content, and doesn’t want Clark to try to save her. Lana has the Talon, Henry Small and the memory of her parents. Lana looks more and more like her mother for every day that passes. She’s dating Harry Lockely, a blond, handsome guy who came back to Smallville after college to take care of the family business. He went to Gotham Tech on a football scholarship. Sometimes Lana writes down their names, trying to figure out the best combination. She hasn’t decided if she wants to be Lana Lang Lockely or just Mrs. Harry Lockely yet. But she does know that she’ll name her first daughter Laura.

Clark likes college. He’s gotten new friends. Friends who don’t know anything about Smallville and its secrets. Friends who think Clark can be quirky sometimes, but likes him anyway.

Classes are interesting and challenging. And Metropolis is his to explore. The city never sleeps and gives you a feeling of that you can do anything. Clark usually loves it. But now a darker side of Metropolis has revealed itself. Clark hears their screams at night. The sobs and shouts of those in need haunts him.

At first, he just heard soft whispers once in a while. He shrugged it off as a figment of his imagination. But the voices grew stronger.

Before he realised the voices were real, just far away, he was half way to a head shrink, convinced he was going crazy. Now he almost wishes that he was. Because the voices have gotten louder and louder. And he can’t shut them out, no matter how hard he tries. During the day, they’ve become an annoying background noise, but if he focuses on what he’s doing, he can ignore them, at least for awhile.

But during the night the voices increase and shout out their pain, crying out, begging him to save them. He can’t stop them and he can’t ignore them, so awake he lays. Mostly all night long.

The only time the voices disappear is strangely enough when he’s around Lex.

Lex moved back to Metropolis during Clark’s senior year. But despite, or perhaps because of Jonathan Kent’s prediction that he would forget all about Clark as soon as he left Smallville, Lex made a point to talk to Clark at least once a week. Often more.

And when Clark moved to Metropolis, they became just as tight as ever. Like Pete was Clark’s guide at the playground, Lex is Clark’s guide in Metropolis. Only less bossy. At least it appears that way, at a first glance. Sometimes Clark isn’t sure. Lex is good at getting people to do what he wants without having to ask.

They eat dinner together at least once a weak. Often more. And that time has become Clark’s oasis. Because when he listens to Lex's voice, his heartbeat, or just the way he breaths, Clark doesn’t hear anything else.

He isn’t sure if it is because Lex is his best friend, or because he wishes there could be even more between them. It doesn’t matter. If he tells Lex how he feels about him, he’s risking their friendship. And having Lex as just a friend is better than not having Lex at all.

And for the same reason, he can’t tell Lex about the voices. Because that would mean he'd have to tell Lex all the rest. And Clark knows you only get one chance with Lex. And he doubts Lex will ever forgive him for keeping such a big secret from him for so many years. Not when Pete already knows.

But this evening, Clark is so tired, so desperate that he just doesn’t care anymore. He needs it to be quiet. He craves it, and Lex is the only one who can give it to him.

It’s late at night, but a quick look with his X-ray vision shows Lex working in his office, completely engrossed in a report of some sort. Clark’s got a key, and quickly sneaks in. He knows it’s wrong, and he feels really bad for doing it, but he can’t see any other choice.

Lex has a big comfy closet. It smells like Lex. Clark quietly sits down on the floor and just breaths out a relieved sigh.

He closes his eyes and focuses on Lex’s breathing and shuffling of papers. Lex's heartbeat helps him sleep.

He doesn’t wake up until the closet door opens and Lex, about to put in a jacket, stares down at him with a bemused look on his face.

"Clark, what on earth are you doing in my closet?"

And Clark is so tired of lying, about his powers, origin and his feelings for Lex that he takes a deep breath. And tells Lex everything. The whole time, he looks up at Lex, just waiting for the look of anger and betrayal he knows is coming.

But Lex listens carefully to all of Clark's ramblings and then he leans forward and gives Clark a kiss.

That night, Clark sleeps like a baby.

Clark’s got a job at the Daily Planet now. Most of the time he gets the coffee or does research for more experienced reporters, but sometimes he gets to see his by-line in print. Perry says he might partner him up with someone soon.

He still hears all the voices, but now he can close them out if he wants to.

He spends his days doubling as a reporter and as an anonymous saviour. Trying to save people eases his conscience. Lex and Martha have been toying with the idea of some sort of disguise for him, so he won’t get recognized. Clark thinks it’s a great idea, he just hopes he won’t end up looking like a dork.

When he comes home from work, Lex is usually waiting for him at home. He takes that time out of his busy schedule so they can just be. Sometimes they just snuggle up in front of the TV, talking about everything and nothing before going to bed. There are no more secrets.  Other days they just go to bed. Clark is happy, he appreciates the effort Lex always makes when it comes to their relationship so when Lex sneaks away to his at home office, early in the mornings or late at night, he doesn’t mind.

 In fact he kind of likes it. Because Lex often uses that time to make calls to other parts of the world. So Clark sighs contently, while he listens to Lex's voice and lets it lull him to sleep.
 

The End